1. Read and study Mark 4:1-9 (including study notes if they are available). Make notes about what stands out to you and what challenges you about this particular translation of the text.
2. Review the presentation to get an idea of how the material is organized and presented. 
3. Contact your small group and share the date, location, time for your first meeting as well as providing instructions for accessing the study. Each participant will need to access and complete the Introduction lesson BEFORE your first meeting. The participant handout for the first session is available as a download in the Introduction lesson.
4. The Introduction session concludes with a celebration of the shared covenant around a meal (or a snack). Consider your group and determine if this shared meal should take place at the conclusion of the introductory session, before the Scripture session, or as a social gathering between the two sessions. Communicate the arrangements and any necessary preparation to your group.

1. Complete the participant lesson. Make notes about questions you have and additional ideas to enhance conversation in this particular group.
2. Review the session presentation carefully and consider how you would respond to the questions so that you are prepared to offer examples to get the discussion started.
3. Make sure you have adequate supplies and resources to work through the session lesson plan with your group.

Raising a Secure Child: How Circle of Security Parenting Can Help You Nurture Your Child’s Attachment, Emotional Resilience, and Freedom to Explore by Hoffman, Kent; Cooper, Glen; Powell, Bert

The Whole Brain Child by Siegel, Daniel J.and Bryson, Tina Payne

Each lesson is designed to be completed on your own, in advance of your small group session. The PDF download at the end of each lesson is your handout to be used in the small group session.

In each lesson you will be asked to pay attention to particular things in your daily life. No extra work, just making mental notes, of interactions in your family.

Preparation for each session should take no more than 15 minutes to complete. Starting early will help you notice interactions that you might want to bring to the group to share as an example when you meet.

Some of the preparation is reflective. Consider using a journal to jot down your thoughts throughout this study. There will be a handout for each session. You may find that a small 3-ring binder or folio is a helpful way to organize your study material.

As you go through your daily routine, pay attention to what guides your parenting decisions.

• How do you decide what limits to set?
• How do you decide which behaviors to respond to and which to let go?
• How do you decide which activities to say “yes” to and which activities to decline?

Don’t do anything different, just pay attention. Make notes in your journal if you find that helpful.

Think about situations where you feel safe enough to be vulnerable. 

What makes those situations safe for you? 

Write down some of the characteristics of those safe situations.

Think about your goals as a parent. 

What values do you want your child to embrace? 

What behaviors do you expect from your child? 

Jot down some of your thoughts.

Read and study Mark 4:1-9, including study notes if you have them. 

As you go through your daily routine…

• Pay attention to when you hear what’s going on in your family and when you really listen to what’s going on in your family.
• See if you can discern how those two experiences might feel different in your body.
• Notice if there is a difference in the quality of relational connection.

Don’t do anything different, just pay attention. Make notes in your journal if you find that helpful.

Make notes about what stands out to you and what challenges you about this particular translation of the text.

Note any questions that you would like to bring to the group when you meet.

Come up with a mathematical formula to express something you know/believe about parenting. (Example: Good marriage + obedient children = Happy Home = Children who grow up to be thriving adults) 

Write down as many of these formulas as come to mind. Be creative. There are no right answers.

As you go through your daily routine…

• Pay attention to the news or school communication or social media and make note of examples of the expectations those sources have about your children or your parenting. If possible, save examples to bring with you to your small group session.
• Notice how you feel when you read or view these sources. How would you name the feeling?
• Consider why you feel the way you do.

Don’t do anything different, just pay attention and gather information. 

Make notes in your journal if you find that helpful.

Gather the examples of cultural expectations of parenting.

Note any questions that you would like to bring to the group when you meet.

Watch the following 2:44 video for an introduction to the idea of parenting that is bigger, stronger, kinder, and wise. This way of parenting forms a strong connection to our child(ren) and increases the chances for good behavior.

Connection from Circle of Security International

As you go through your daily routine…

• Pay attention to the times your child misbehaves. Consider if these moments could be requests for connection rather than demands for attention.
• Notice if you feel differently toward your child if you view your child’s behavior as a request for connection.
• Consider why you might feel differently.

Don’t do anything different, just pay attention and gather information. 

Make notes in your journal if you find that helpful.

Note any questions or observations that you would like to bring to the group when you meet.

“The stories our children need include both left-brain logic and words, as well as the right-brain’s ability to sense emotion, context, and meaning, so we can lead them back to a state where they’re able to problem solve, strategize, and feel a sense of empowerment over the situation.” 

(The Whole Brain Child Workbook, p. 28.)

Do you prefer words, logic, and solving problems without dealing with emotions? If so, you may be operating from a left-brained mode. If you find yourself looking for solutions from an emotional standpoint, then you may be operating from a right-brained mode. 

To be integrated, both sides of the brain need their say.

In the Whole Brain Child, Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson discuss the importance of helping children learn to tell their stories around the significant events in their day. Instead of trying to convince your child that they’re fine, consider trying to help them name the emotions and describe the events that connect to those particular emotions.

Ask questions like “And then what happened?” to help your child connect words to the emotions and begin to narrate their own experience. It’s also possible to narrate the event as an example to your child, making sure you pause frequently to ask for affirmation that you’ve understood the situation correctly. If your child wants to tell the store, let him/her.

What do you remember about how your caregivers responded to your childhood emotions?

• when you were sad?
• upset?
• happy?
• frightened?
• angry?

How do your childhood memories influence your parenting? 

Do you want to do things differently from your upbringing? 

Or follow your caregiver’s example?

As you go through your daily routine…

• Pay attention to your child’s emotional responses. Do you create space for these emotions? Or do you dismiss the emotion seeking a quick solution to the problem?
• Consider how your caregiver would have responded to you when you where a child.
• Reflect on the similarity or difference.

Don’t do anything different, just pay attention and gather information. 

Make notes in your journal if you find that helpful.

Note any questions or observations that you would like to bring to the group when you meet.

Consider the voices of Scripture, Tradition, Reason, and Experience. Do these voices always agree?

How do you make decisions when the voices don’t agree? Which voice takes precedence?

Review what you’ve learned about “What Makes the Soil of Family Life Good” from

• Scripture
• Tradition
• Science
• Vital Witness

What does the conversation created by these 4 voices reveal about what works in your family?

As you go through your daily routine…

• Pay attention to how you respond to your child. 
• Is your perspective shaped by your interpretation of Scripture? 
• By how tradition has shaped your expectations? 
• By your understanding informed by science? 
• By your childhood experiences? 
• Or by an integrated understanding (a coherent symphony) from all the voices? 
• A more visual way to express this question: If you think about Torah as a room, are you camped out on one of the walls or are you standing somewhere closer to the middle of the room?
• Reflect on your frame of reference for your relationship with your child.

Don’t do anything different, just pay attention and gather information. Make notes in your journal if you find that helpful.