Opportunities to Grow
Never waste a crisis. No matter how uncomfortable crisis can be, there is always something that we can learn and a way that we can grow if we simply pay attention to the reality of the crisis, listen to what our emotions are telling us, and respond with truth and love.
It turns out that we also have tremendous opportunities to connect with those we love through the way that we approach our problems. The first step is to re-frame the problem as an opportunity.
In Parenting the Love & Logic Way, Dr. Charles Fay tells the story of how he re-framed the problem of a hole in the garage wall as an opportunity for his 4 year-old son Cody to gain some valuable drywall skills, learn how to talk to other adults, learn the value of a dollar, have some fun with his dad, and learn that taking your frustrations out on the garage wall does have consequences. Charles did not waste a crisis, and because of the way he helped Cody solve the problem, their relationship became closer, deeper, and more loving in response to the crisis. To hear more about problem solving the Love and Logic way, check out this YouTube video from Jim Fay: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6mo8m8oyjM&index=7&list=PLOJH-VLmqVWToa59tAOIA2Tw94shLolpt
And the downloadable handout for Love and Logic’s Five Step Approach to Solving Problems can be found here: https://www.loveandlogic.com/articles-advice/guiding-children-to-solve-their-own-problems
The next time one of your kids causes a problem, pause for a minute and consider ways you might be able to re-frame the problem as an opportunity. What character skills could your child develop through this opportunity? What long-term strengths might emerge from a short-term inconvenience? Pay attention to how your child responds to being responsible for solving his/her own problem… celebrate the triumphs, and offer genuine empathy in the struggles.